Karl's Photos of Utter Nonsense and High Art

Storm Clouds Over Upper Brook Street

2008-01-20T18:42:00.000Z

Disapointiong really this particular storm did not come to much boo hoo.......

DUCKS??????

2008-01-19T13:12:00.000Z

I love aquatic wildfoul, pigeons I hate but ducks are great and I am not entirley sure if this beast is a duck, but it certanally looks surreal enough to be one. If you know what kind of bird it is let me know ok........

It's a Long Way To Piccadilly

2008-01-13T13:10:00.000Z

It is pretentious arty and deliberatley badly framed so stick that in yetr pipe and smoke it.

Somewhere along the M56 I Think

2008-01-09T13:06:00.000Z

Twas on the road back from Blackburn on a wet and cold night thankfully I was wearing my Lucky Pants, though the sat nav was about as much use as a chocolate fireguard in non moving traffic.

Moss Side at 20moh

2008-01-09T12:53:00.001Z

For some strange reason I get a lot of hits for people looking for "Tropical Palm Massage Manchester" on google and other search engines. I would like to point out to these people that I know your ISP and IP address, and is it really something that you want to keep in your browsing history.....

Anyhow the sky was fantastic this morning and my new camera seemed to capture it nicley so I am a happy bunny.

Back Street Love in Manchester

2007-12-28T20:36:00.000Z

If you are looking for love in back streets here then you have come to the right place cause I love it.......................... back streets that is or gimmels as they are called here.

Platt Fields Park In December

2007-12-23T20:22:00.000Z

Tis the end of the year and marked by the death of my old camera, so now that I have a half decent one their may be decent photos apearing here, but that is not really likley, now is it.......

Footwell of my Punto

2007-10-29T13:59:00.001Z

Footwell of my Punto
Originally uploaded by denim.demon

Ha ha not posted anything in a while cause I am dead lazy and proud of it too. Here is a photo of the footwell in my punto which is 11 next year and hopefully will be got rid of soon. The photo represents servitude or something pointless like that............. oh and I have started using flikr just to see what happens.....

MRI 12th August 2007

2007-08-12T11:43:00.000Z

Nice building shit sign, and the same spot someone once told me that he would have to kill me if I was a Satan worshipper.

Lunchtime Drinking German Style

2007-07-05T13:18:00.000Z

ACHTUNG ENGLANDER SWINE........ The smell of sausage, sauerkraut and the Bonzai stall on Albert Square can only mean one thing. It is time for the German Market and a way for this Scot to beat the smoking ban and have a pint a sausage and a fag outside yeah bring it on. Only one problem though it is bloody expensive and I am sure that folk are watching for carry oots. No oompah music this year either just lots of dodgy 80's pop and yes all 80's pop is dodgy.

Wonderful Weather For Ducks on Whitworth Street

2007-07-03T09:24:00.000Z

Whilst I amd founf of anything that benefits aquatic wild foul I have to say enough is enough and for gods sake can we get some decent weather for a while. Especially now that I have to go outside to smoke you swine. Oh I could give up smoking but then I would be bowing down to what the illuminati and the Lizard people want me to do, so I am not going to so there. I am fairly sure that I can spot an owl in this building too............

Drink Beer and Smoke Tabs 29/6/2007

2007-06-29T09:36:00.000Z

My battle with the evil weed is not yet over but we are 2 days away from a ban on smoking in enclosed public places............ The health lobby has one this battle and are being a bunch of smug sancitnonious gits about it well bollocks to them is what I have to say. I am going to maliciously smoke in public places as much as possible till the ban comes in force. I AM GOING TO ENJOY A PINT AND A CIGGIE in a pub for the last time, and am going to thouroghly enjoy impregnating your clothes with the stench of my foul habbit.

A few non smoking freinds have been going on about how great it is but is it?????? THIS IS THE THIN EDGE OF THE WEDGE. How long before we have to use ID cards to buy alcohol and are faced with the indignity of being forced to have a breathaliser before we have a pint. I may be being a bit paranoid here but I don't think so. The powers taht be would be happy if all we did was stay at home log onto the internet and ponce about on social networking sites, what a great way to keep us servile and compliant. So Tonight and Tomorrow night I emplore you to go out and drink tabs and smoke beer even if you don't smoke DO IT, and whilst you are at it have sex with strangers and take illicit drugs too, cuase it is the end of an era and the begining of a new and worrying era.............

Geese in Platt Fields Park 24/06/2007

2007-06-24T10:10:00.000Z

You gotta love the geese in Platt Fields Parl especially when they are hounding young families for bread.

Learn To Park and Stop Messing my Planet Up. 23/06/2007

2007-06-23T10:03:00.000Z

Aaaaahhhh lovley Bramhall a place that likes to think that it is in Cheshire but is not, but still manages to have far too many 4 x 4's. Watching the one in my rear view mirror park was a sight to behold, and the dirty look I got from the driver was also fantastic. Glad that my Punto is dropping house prices a suburb near you. Honestley what does anyone need a 4 x 4 for is beyond me unless you are going off road it is pretty pointless, apart from helping eleviate your own insecurities.

Sackville Street Railway Arch 14/07/2007

2007-06-14T12:30:00.000Z

You have tae tip yer head to the right tae get the proper perspective cause I am in a lazy mood today I can't be bothered doing it myself. Right then I an off to listen to some fantastically dark prog rock stuff that makes your granny wet herself.

Garden Pests Avoiding a Drowning 13/7/07

2007-06-13T00:33:00.000Z

I am not overly keen on snails and general slimy things and as I only garden with a broom then this act of climbing the wall to avoid being drowned by the rain was only a stay of execution for these blighters. I am off to get slug pellets or a bucket full of slops from the pub so they can die happy. OOOOHHH isn't that cruel I hear you cry well I suppose it could be but considering the number of these blighters in my back yard alone they are hardly an endangered species, and I don't want my daughter sticking them in her mouth either.

Chinatown 12/06/07

2007-06-12T13:19:00.000Z

Fantastically atmospheric panoramic nonsense outside the Pacific near Long legs complete with slate grey sky and old people milling around, pass me my AK please.

Crappy Storm 10/06/2007

2007-06-10T23:06:00.000Z

What a bloody disapointment that storm was last night a lot of promise but no fizzle boo hiss. I even cursed god to strike me dowm from the steps this was taken from. Our one solitary customer in the beer garden was happily looking forward to the event too only to have disapointment snapped from the jaws of disallusionment (I can't be arsed spelling proper today).

On another note some nonce is posting pictures of us working in the pub on facebook, I can't find him there but if anyone knows the url could you let us know so that we can send the boys round to sort him out.

"ooohhh where are we going, to the indian ocean?"

"Something like that flipper, ever heard of lambeth bridge?" ------ Boot

Paranoid Delusions in M14..... 08/07/2007

2007-06-08T07:33:00.000Z

The view through the peephole in my door this morning, next I'll be getting a chain hah hah hah. Something about listening to Prince Far I suits the tropical mood of Manchester today. Playing Reggae in the pub seems to have a chilling effect on the customers which is always a good thing.

Industrial Abstraction 07/07/2007

2007-06-07T10:04:00.000Z

I really don't like the first photo here today it was supposed to be a statement about crossing the line but it does not work in the way I wanted it too, but I posted it anyway for your delictation.
The second photo is another matter cause I like the texture and I had no big art statement to make I just liked it.

Mechanical Hand of Death on Hatersage Road. 5/7/2007

2007-06-05T08:17:00.001Z

Was alsothinking about the title best jobs in the world #674, cause we all know that demolishing buildings with a mechanical claw would be a fantastic job. Blowing them up is cool too but destroying things with a huge mechanical claw is far cooler. The new building there is the awful student flats opposite Whitworth park which if you saw the way it was constructed then you would not want to live in it, basically it is prefabricated boxes stacked on top of each other. Soulless boxes for souless people with too much money to spend.

The huge mechanical claw started being really impressive when I boarded the bus here and I looked out of teh back window with awe and a tinge of sadness as I wanted a shot on it.

Global Warming In Manchester, 4/7/2007

2007-06-04T13:59:00.000Z

There is far too much of this sort of sky over Manchester these days, the bloody tourists will not know where they are if it continues then lord alone knows what will happen. It is not right I tell you and i never got to go for a pint at lunchtime which makes things even worse.
I am not sure what I was trying to acheive with this shot on Granby row and I don't care either it sort of works and that is good enough for me matey boy or girl.

First Thundersorn Of The Summer 31/5/07

2007-05-31T20:21:00.000Z

A bit earlier than last years one which bodes well for a summer filled with thundery weather, well actually 2 days earlier but still it was a good un. I wholeheartedly appologise for the crappyness of the photo I chose I was out in the storm and forgot to take my camera. I did get thoroughly soaked on a trip to Aimee's Hardware store in Rusholme which as ever was a fantastic cleansing experience.

Another significant thing is taht I bought a rain stick yesterday so I suspect that yours truly had something to do with the storm, my supernatural shamanistic thai-chee powers are not to be trifled with.

Oh the photo is of a part of my new back yard, fantastic it is too with ants and everything apart from flowers and plants I garden with a broom.

Fimally thanks to mr GE who has plugged me as being rather spasmodic (even though I prefer the trem rather spasmodic and irreverand) on his around the world site, thanks I appreciate anything the increases the volume of traffic through my site. (don't forget to click on teh ads I need a new camera)

Apocalytic and Doom Laden Back Street in M14, 31/5/2007

2007-05-31T09:57:00.000Z

If i could be bothered to do a better job of the image manipulation then it would look a lot more doom laden and apocalyptic but I can't...... any death metal bands who want me to design album covers for them are welcome to contact me with large sums of cash.

Farwell To Thorn Court, Salford. 28/05/07

2007-05-28T13:45:00.000Z

Can't say how happy I am to be away from this place and back in M14, but it was an experience living in a tower block and not one that I'd happily go through again. Though it is much better than living in a bedsit and the view was fantastic, but onwards and downwards I go. Oh and if the numbtae who complained to the residents asscoiation about me using two lifts to flit reads this, then you can go and boil yer heed ye big ponce, cause We maliciously continued to use both lifts after you complained. ha ha ha

Maturity

2007-03-27T21:24:00.001Z

Maturity

2007-03-27T21:24:00.000Z

Cranes and Ugly Porcelain Dogs 16/3/07

2007-03-18T07:13:00.000Z

The mentioning of BDSM in a previous post was a slightly sucessfull attept to get a a higher amount of traffic through here for the minimum work. It has been moderatley sucessfull with one visitor actually seraching for BDSM photos visiting my page so far. I hope he was not dissapointed. Anyhow as you can see from above my crane fetish is still healthy and that building is still going on at a surprising rate here near piccadilly.

This fucking ugly monstrosity resides in the Bulls Head on Granby Row and the maker of it deserves punishing cause he was bad.......

Greent Things On Trees in Next To Canal Street, 15/03/2007

2007-03-15T18:33:00.000Z

Guess What it was pissing down with rain when I took this not that it ever pisses down with rain in Manchester. The more observant of you will spot the advertisement for hard drugs here too, this could only happen in Manchester possibly.

Bondage Monkey In Trafford. 10/3/07

2007-03-15T13:56:00.000Z

God knows who thought that tying up a monkey to the front of a Ford garage would increase sales, animal cruelty is wrong but animal bdsm is totally and utterley and completley wrong. I am not going to buy a Ford in protest at this atrocity.

General Bluey Roundness

2007-01-30T22:06:00.001Z

Absolut Lomo Competition

2007-01-25T10:00:00.000Z

Those wonderfull people at absolut are sending me a Lomo camera.

All you have to do to win one from me is to upload a picture Absolut Lomowall, and then give me the "blog this"-link. Leave a message in the comments section below and I will judge who is the most unique and individual..............................

I will also host any pictures submitted to the competion on this blog, so you don't need to be a blogger to join in the fun................

Dumham Massey, 20-01-2007

2007-01-20T17:40:00.001Z

One Became the victim of a sudden attack of creativity whilst visiting Dunham Massey today. This is not right and should be stopped, aw bugger it I am having a beer to celebrate it.

Absolot Lomo

2007-01-18T13:46:00.000Z

Details of a forthcomming competition will soon be posted................

Windyness in Salford, 18/01/2007

2007-01-18T13:20:00.000Z

McDonalds are evil (the burger chain, not the Scottish Clan) and should be destroyed hopefully the wind in Salford Today will help.

Sunrise Over Manchester 12/10/06

2006-10-12T11:31:00.000Z

Even more impressive as I was half asleep when I took it, now all that needs to happen is for Manchester Housing to get their fingers out of their collective bums and get me a new house, as the only good thing about my current home is this view.

That bloody Hilton Building Again 11/9/06

2006-09-11T14:15:00.000Z

What I failed to capture was the highly dangerous angle that the gantry was at when I spotted it and when you are claning windows 20 floors of the ground that has to be of some concern. I applaud these mens heroic efforts to keep this monstrosity clean, the achitect responsible for thsi building I want to poke in the eyes with a sharp stick.

To quote what a mate of mines dad says to any architect other than himself (including a 1st year archetecture student) after a godd few beers " you are a fucking arsehole, I build peoples dreams, you build fucking nightmares"

Whitworth Street Carpark, 30/08/06

2006-08-30T13:24:00.000Z

Hopefully the 3 forklifts here are a sign that this carbuncle is going to be transformed into something that involves ducks, I doubt it though.

Roseburn, Edinburgh, 26/08/06

2006-08-26T10:07:00.000Z

Auld Reekie is a beautiful, pictureesque, metropolitian and highly cultured city and I miss it, but for some unknown sick and twisted reason the thing I miss most about my home is McEwans Lager.

WTF!!!!!!!

2006-08-24T14:22:00.000Z

Whatever this photo is off confuses the hell out of me, It was supposed to be of a levitating pint of lager which we had skillfully levitated with the power of our not insubstantial minds. It even looked like a levitating pint, but it mystically transformed into something else. I am pleased with the result.

Unlike the downgrading of Pluto which is no longer a planet I demand JUSTICE, I am writing to my MP regarding this scandal with the hope that he puts it right along with other things such as the gross incompitence of Manchester Housing, lets see which one gets sorted first.

Diversions On Oxford Rd, 10/08/06

2006-08-10T13:33:00.000Z

Nuff Said

Spring Gardens 20/07/06

2006-07-20T12:46:00.000Z

There is nothing springy or gardeny about Spring Gardens on this hot and humid day. I sort of approve of Burtonwood's attempt to enforce culture upon us during their insescant office building, but the art they are displaying is crap. I want to see more art on the streets and out of the galleries so that folk can see it easily, lets force culture down the throats of the masses. I also beleive that our goverement should stop bombing people and spend the money on art for the masses, with that in mind todays recomended Bush bashing peice of industrialesque metal is Ministry's Rio Grande Blood.

Abstract Art & My Poofy Bag

2006-07-19T11:12:00.000Z

It was bloody hot the other day and it is fucking bastard hot today too. Only one thing one can do on such days and that is to drink and take abstract art photo's of my poofy bag. It is not a man bag as that is something that men who are not confident with their own sexuality would call it. This heat is definitley affecting my mind it must be all the vitamin D, that and my first visit to a parent-craft class last night.

My poofy bag is also the perfect thing to carry loads of water and beer around the place with me, as well as handy things like sunblock. Time for more lunchtime drinking I think.

Lunchtime Drinking is The Future, 18/07/06

2006-07-18T14:48:00.000Z

Lunchtime drinking is indeed the way forward, though from our view of the attic from the Salisbury we could see that something was wrong. The Salisbury also smelt funny, so it was off to the Scholar for rum and coke a far more sensible state of affairs.

During my rather splended lunch I compsed a letter to Gerald Kaufman demanding that he take active steps to remove Tony Blair from power, every little bit helps.

Summer in Manchester, 17/07/06

2006-07-17T13:58:00.000Z

Nothing says more about summer that KEBABS whilst listening to Hank Williams III's latest opus Straight to Hell [Us Import] you know your life will not be complete without both of them. Oh and it is supposed to be hitting 31 degrees Centigrade here today, happy happy Joy Joy, me I'm Drinkin' Cussin' and being proud of my outlaw style. As well as suffering from a vitamin D overload.

The Floating Car of Rusholme, 16/07/07

2006-07-16T22:39:00.000Z

I don't half take photos of a pile of old shite don't I. this floating car confused the hell out of us for a while, but then we are innocent barmen, and while we are on that subject start tipping you bastards and more than 20p a time please, I have a child to support, and a new guitar to buy. Anyway we then spotted the forklift that was supporting it and the bald bloke who was working under it, there was also a bloke in the car pressing the brake pedals (we spotted this when the brake lights kept flashing). It is good to see that Manchester Mechanics are so safety concious. If anyone can come up with a suitable caption as to what the bloke in the stupid hat is saying to the blonde on the bike please feel free to enlighten me, better still if you know then then make up some sucrrilous rumour about them, it is the summer and all this heat is affecting my mind.

A Trip Into Yorkshire 15/07/06

2006-07-15T22:26:00.000Z

Above is some B road heading into Holmefirth (where a god awful TV program is made about old people, who die every now and then is made, Yorkshire does not deserve TV). This was at the summit of the road on which I annoyed some muppet in a 4 x4 who could nopt fathom out the idea that my 1.1 litre fiat cannot get out of 2nd gear when it is going up anything more than a 10% incline. 4x4's should be destroyed anyway. Going down is a whole barrell of fun though.

This is possibly the most interesting thing in Holmefirth, other than wondering which member of the cast of an aforementioned god awful TV program is going to die next. Much mor interesting is playing a game of which member of The Who is going to die next my bets are on Roger Daltery in a bizzare trout farm accident, playing this game with the Beatles is no fun as you know that they are dying in reverse order of tallent.

And here is proof of how tightfisted Yorkshiemen are too bloody mean to even build a half decent dry stone dyke.

1 minute and 15 Seconds on Oldham Street

2006-07-03T23:57:00.000Z

Above is my good mate Rob from Coventry, at his first ever time on stage he lasted 1 minute and 15 seconds and managed to tell two jokes before getting booed off stage by a few folk with a non-twisted sense of humor. His short time on stage was stunning and very reminiscant of Jerry Shadowitz. I tell you open mike nights at Comedy Clubs are strange things indeed, but fun if you like psycho analysing saddos whilst getting plastered.
The night ended up with us checking behind us along Oldham Street to make sure that we were not going to get lynched.

OH AND £1-30 FOR A POXY WEE BOTTLE OF CASTLEMAINE XXX IS NOT CHEAP IT IS A FUCKING RIP OFF.

Rusholme in The Rain 02/07/06

2006-07-02T23:26:00.000Z

First thunderstorm of the summer and what a beauty it was passing right over us. One of the great things about living here in Manchester is that you are guaranteed a good few thunderstorms every year due to its location and they are fantastic, even the rain is great after a couple of days of hot and sunny weather nothing gladdens a Manc's (event though I am a Scot, I consider myself a Manc) heart more than a good drenching.

The Rusholme Sky At Night 1/7/06

2006-07-02T09:37:00.000Z

England are out of the World Cup so we can all relax and enjoy some great football now, and more importantly the weather which is disgustingly hot.

New Bridge at Piccadilly Place 26/07/06

2006-06-26T12:27:00.000Z

The folks at Piccadilly place have gotten this bridge up rather rapidly, and they want the public to send in suggestions for its name. I personally think that this is a good idea and we should buck the trend of calling bridges inspiring but unorigonal names to using original yet uninspiring names. I am bored with millennium bridges and Brunell bridges and god forbid if anyone decides to call it the Sir Alex Ferguson Bridge. My suggestion for it's name is simple lets call it Pepe for two reasons:-

1. I do not know of any bridges named Pepe anywhere in the world.
2. It will be named after an imaginary dog that we kept in the kitchen of a Mexican restaurant I once worked in.

We need more bridges named after imaginary dogs...........................

today's recommended piece of Sloveninan Art Terrosim to improve your record collection is Liabach - Let It Be

The Green Man at Knutsford, 14/4/06

2006-04-14T18:24:00.000Z

The green man sucptled from a bit of tree and some copper outside the heratige centre in Knutsford. The grren man is an important figure in our pagan history and the folk in Knutsford are very nice albeit a little strange.

Dumbfounded, 15/03/06

2006-03-15T08:22:00.000Z

This notice outside an office has left me speechless. The non-smoking lobby in this country has won and yet they are still moaning. Banning smoking in pubs will result in the closure of up to 10% of pubs in the UK according to licensed industry figures, yeah I know it was going to happen but how about phasing in such a dramatic change. No that is not the way our so called labor government operates, a friend of mine said the other days that politicians are like nappies and need changed regulary. A sentiment that I wholeheartedly agree with. I am an ex-smoker and suffer from quite severe asthma, yet I do not get distressed by watching people smoke, and I have not turned into a humorless swine.

Street Art Under The Mancunian Way, 13/03/06

2006-03-13T11:50:00.000Z

Justice and Constitutional Affairs

2006-03-10T11:43:00.000Z

This rather stunning building on the Salford / Manchester border will have something to do with Justice and Constitutional affairs, kinda ironic that something with such an Orwellian title is opposite the Peoples History museum (Which is a fantastic place detailing the struggle of the working man against the man).

I DO NOT WANT A FUCKING IPOD

Apple iPod shuffle - 512MB

Kwick Save, Rusholme, 09/03/06

2006-03-09T12:48:00.000Z

Kwick Save is being closed, so no more chap baked beans for me and many others, and I will miss this branch in Rusholme. It is quite frankly awful, but awful with a certain charm about it. Apparentley acording to local gossip this will be replaced by a clothes shop, curry house, pub, yuppie flats, or as I have been claiming a duck pond. Infact I am going to petition Manchester City Council for a duck pond....

More Photos of My Favorite Ducks

2006-03-09T08:43:00.000Z

Don't worry this blog is not becoming a daily-duck-blog as I don't have the time to do it, not because it may be a bad idea.

The ducks were being terribly photogenic this morning so I had to take shots of them!!!!!

Some suit even chortled at me for shooting them, but not in a bad way,as I suspect that he too has a liking for these three young ducks, and who can blame him.

Ducks!!!!!!!!!

2006-03-08T16:26:00.000Z

I have stated many times before to anyone who would listen that you can't have too many pictures of ducks. Especially these three that live along Deansgate locks, who I have adopted. Even for ducks they seem remarkably stupid, and unworried about bird flu. Apart from the bird flu, living outside, and eating crap I am really envious of them, ducks have a much better life than humans.

Piccadilly Gardens 08/09/06

2006-03-08T14:57:00.000Z

10 years ago Piccadilly Gardens was old fashioned but still a nice place to visit, today it is a hideous monstrosity, as is highlighted by this sculpture of a tree. What is wrong with a real fucking tree I ask you? It would have been nicer and cheaper than this hideous carbuncle. I have nothing against modern sculpture being used to brighten up our cities, the stuff of the quayside in Newcastle Upon Tyne is a good example of what can be done, but this is just shite. Whoever commissioned and paid for this needs shooting as does the artist who conceived it....

Deansgate Locks / Castle Field Basin, 06/02/06

2006-03-06T20:43:00.000Z

Monday the 6th of Febuary 2006 was the single most emotionally traumatic day of my life so far, thankfully it all worked out ok in the end. Little did I know what the day would bring as I was taking this photograph which I love, because it sort of represents the clam before a storm. I also now owe the big fella in the sky a massive favour, which is a pretty uncomfortable place for an agnostic to be in, but thanks big man.

A HUGE thank you

2006-03-06T16:17:00.000Z

Thank you to the two ladies who let me jump ahead of them at the Piccadilly taxi rank this morning at 10 am, I am indebted to both of you. If you read this then thank you and everything is ok, your kindness and generosity was fantastic.

THANK YOU!!!!!!!!

Archimedes Indulging In Light Bondage, 03/03/06

2006-03-04T08:58:00.000Z

This statue of Archimedes jumping out of the bath is subject to regular abuse, most of it rather dull and boring. However whoever thought of blindfolding and gagging him is a genus. Below is more evidence that it is not yet spring.....

Falkner Street and Spring Gardens, 03/03/06

2006-03-02T13:03:00.000Z

A building on Falkner Street that is in the midsts of demolition and good riddance to it. I would be happy if every building on that street was torn down and replaced with a park some donkeys and a duck pond. Below my crane fetish is taking a worrysome turn but it does not harm anyone so I am willing to let it continue.

In the Court of the Crimson King by King Crimson is todays recomended legandary prog rock masterpeice.

Rusholme in The Snedge, 01/03/06

2006-03-02T09:48:00.000Z

Only in the UK would you have a conservative MP arguing about the official start of spring, when we all know that the Met Office is completely useless, and that there is no such thing as spring here. You just get a slightly warmer and slightly less wet version of winter. I am surprised that he isn't ranting about how it is all political correctness gone mad though as conservatives have a habit of doing these days.

New Market, 01/03/06

2006-03-01T12:51:00.000Z

Turning the corner from Cross Street up New Market I had an boompf moment when I was struck by this view. The contrast of the three buildings from different eras is quite startling especially for one looking at this city with new found eyes. Though I do think it could be improved with a few well positioned ducks or a donkey.

The Ducks of Albion Mill Lock on Deansgate Locks, 28/02/06

2006-03-01T09:41:00.000Z

I have grown quite found of this group of three young ducks, as I pass them twice a day on the way to and from work. They sort of make the whole journey more palatable especially when I have don a shift ion the pub the night before. I hope that they don't get duck flu but and confident that our government is right in that Bird Flu coming to the UK is not inevitable. After all they have a fantastic record with being right about so many other things like Foot and Mouth, Iraq's WMD's and Dr David Kelly's "suicide", I am personally brimming with confidence.

I am personally of the opinion that you can never have too many photo's of Ducks or Donkeys for that matter, and anyone who has the pleasure to be served by me in my pub will be told everything I know about how great Ducks and Donkeys are, which is a disturbing amount.

Chorlton Street, 28/02/06

2006-02-28T12:36:00.000Z

A fantastic instalation on this rather drab and boring building, there should be more stuff like this everywhere. It could well have cost a packet but I don't care, if we are going to have boring buildings in the town then lets make them a little bit interesting.

Portland Tower In The CIS Building, 28/02/06

2006-02-28T12:23:00.000Z

The fantastic reflection of Portland Tower in one of the many CIS buildings in central Manchester. Both of these buildings are infact very bloody ugly, but the ability to turn them into objects of art sort of makes up for their existence but not by much.

today's recommended piece of obscure Krautrock is Can's - Future Days [Remastered] which is indeed a masterpiece.

Patron Saints In Trouble

2006-02-28T08:09:00.000Z

I am badly hungover as once again I was celebrating the joys of our multicultural society.

However it must be noted that Belhaven's St. Andrews Ale is no where near as good as the Old Jock Ale. The latter I can heartily recommend, the other is like dishwater.

Today's recommended vegetable steamer is the Tefal VC400415 Vitamin Plus 3-Tier Steamer Graphite

Dangling Cranes on A Monday Morning, 27/02/06

2006-02-27T11:21:00.000Z

My fetish for the cranes that are springing up all over Manchester is still going strong as this picture clearly demonstrates.

I like the almost luminescent quality that the orange painted metal in this shot has. Especially against the slate grey Manchester Sky. Absolutely no touching up was done top achieve this effect, so there.

I also like the fact that it was just dangling there doing absolutely nothing, as if it is saying hey it is Monday and I am not going to do anything that I don't want to do so there.

I have also found out that for some reason this blog is not available in China for some reason. A friend of mine who is working over there cannot access the site but can access my blogger profile. I have no idea why this is but am proud that I have published something that could cause offence to the so called communist regime in China.

On another not so related note but dealing with another one of my fetishes if anyone could answer the question posed here, there I would be terribly chuffed.

Today's recommended SD card is Viking 512MB Secure Digital (SD)

Just off Cross Street, 25/02/06

2006-02-25T13:21:00.000Z

I have a feeling that this property just off Cross Street has been acquired for re-development for some time. I think it is an undiscovered gem of a place, if this was turned into a proper pub it would be fantastic.

Today's recommended listening is Marconi Union - Distance.

Hungover and Suffering From Insomnia 25/02/06

2006-02-25T07:12:00.000Z

Old Jock Ale is fantastic and you should all drink loads of it, like I did last night.

When you look at it I was being terribly cosmopolitan.......... I am a Highland Scot living in Salford, drinking a beer brewed in the Scottish Borders, which was purchased in the Lowlands of Scotland. The glass was manufactured by a French company and bought from a Asian Hardware store in Rusholme, and the bottle was opened using a bottle opener bought from the Native people of Newfoundland.

The photograph was taken on a Japanese camera with a memory card made in the USA. Finally the computer I am writing this bollocks on was made in China.

Right then what I am saying is that if anyone says to you that multiculturalism does not work then punch them. My phenomenal hangover is a direct result of multiculturalism in action so there.....

Mosley Street Looking Towards Piccadilly Gardens, 24/02/06

2006-02-25T06:57:00.000Z

You just know that the building on the left is going to be a complete and utter monstrosity, something really good could have been put in it's place, like a little garden of some sort. Our City Centre is far too overcrowded with shite buildings do they really need to add more to it? and while we are at it we don't need any more fucking shops either...........

Sachas, 24/02/06

2006-02-24T08:48:00.000Z

Sachas Hotel just off market street is a fine establishment. The kind that definitley does not have reputation of being the kind of establishment where ladies of generous virtue spend time with the gentlemen of their choice. Absolutley not, no way not a chance, never in a million years could this be described as a knocking shop as some good freinds of mine from London who stayed there will testify, that it is indeed a fine hotel and one where they would happily stay again.

I personally find the building rather perverse as it does not seem to know what it is doing with bits of art deco styling and god alone knows what the balconies are supposed to be.......

Mancunian Way Exit At UMIST, 23/02/06

2006-02-23T11:40:00.000Z

An apology of sorts I am in no mood to get soaked today bringing fine cityscapes of the wonderful city of Manchester, as our pre-spring monsoon has arrived. The pre-spring monsoon will be replaced with the spring monsoon, and the summer monsoon and soon it will be back to the autumn and winter monsoon. As a friend of mine from India once observed "at least when you get a Monsoon in India you know it is going to fucking stop, it is just constant here". Not being native to this city the rain occasionally gets to me, the natives seem to thrive on it and actually enjoy it for some strange reason. It is quite common for a native here to say "yeah but the rain will soon be on its way" when you innocently remark on what a nice day it has been and how clear and blue the skies are.

The thing that really upset me was that I was going to take some pictures of some ducks that I have grown rather fond off. They have made their home just by Deansgate Locks, and they make the journey into work more bearable. As I pass them, they frolic and do duck things, this morning the little swine were being terribly difficult to photograph, so they will be saved for another day.

Hardy's Well, Rusholme, 22/02/06

2006-02-23T08:16:00.000Z

At the bottom of the Curry Mile you come across Hardy's Well, a fine pub staffed by some of the most wonderful and awesome barmen in the area. The pub originally started life as the Birch Villa Hotel, then changed to the notorious Birch Villa Inn. The current landlord has made a few changes inside, which has dramatically improved it. He has alos has recently doubled the number of real ales they sell to two......
The unnamed barman (who is incidentally the most wonderful and awesome barman in the pub) above is showing his contempt for John Smiths Extra Smooth by not giving each pint the attention it deserves, but it is John Smiths.........

Tropical Palm Massage on Reyner Street, 22/02/06

2006-02-22T09:13:00.000Z

Reyner Street is a little back alleyway just off Chinatown, I love exploring back alleys as you sometimes find a hidden gem. This is not one of them and considering that someone who typed "cycling lycra fetish" into yahoo came across my site posting this may encourage a lot more of that kind of thing.

However I have always been fascinated by the more seedy side of city life, especially in the UK, and especially outside of Soho where euphemisms reign supreme......... Tropical Palm Massages being one of the most common in our rather repressed society. Of course I could be horribly wrong after all as it is attached to a health studio and it could be perfectly innocent.

The lines from Iggy Pop's The Passenger "I see the bright and hollow sky, Over the city's ripped backsides" seem to fit in well here for some strange reason........ I also like the way the face on the billboard is looking round the corner in a conspiratorial fashion.......

Shudehill Metro Station, 21/02/06

2006-02-21T14:28:00.000Z

For some strange reason the metrolink station at Shudehill has this very nice roof on top of it, I am not sure why this is and don't really care. The two photos I posted today were taken within an hour of each other and both show dramatically different skies, just with till the summer when we get 5 different types of weather in one day.

Portland Tower from Sackville Street, 21/02/06

2006-02-21T13:38:00.000Z

From the Portland Street side this building is a monstrous carbuncle, a blight on the city centre, a disgusting monstrosity that should be destroyed. From the Sackville Street side it is fantastic, they should redo the whole thing in yellow!!!!!!!.

This has been a fairly surreal day in Manchester I saw some bloke walking through Piccadilly Gardens with a pink Stetson on, and 5 minutes after taking this shot someone asked me where the massage centre was. Most importantly I got a new camera a Nikon Coolpix 2200 for 58 quid from Morgan Computers, stuff fancy digital SLRs and phone that take pictures I want a camera that can fit in my pocket and that no one wants to steal........... Mr Pretzels is a happy man today.

Hulme and Canal Street, 20/02/06

2006-02-20T14:31:00.000Z

The world is full of photos of security cameras and here is my contribution to an overcrowded genre of photography. This one lives at the end of Canal Street nearest Piccadilly, and lets face it it is really a bit pants.

I am much much happier with the second shot taken somewhere in Hulme. It has the word Aquarius on it which is supposed to be the age we live in. I am also getting increasingly frustrated with using an old camera which is held together with tape and rubber bands, roll on pay day.

A big thanks to Life In Stuttgart for the Plug on his Blog

Intermission (Canal Street December 05)

2006-02-19T07:41:00.000Z

Back of Charles Street Carpark, 17/02/06

2006-02-17T12:47:00.000Z

The space between the back of the Charles Street Carpark and the railway bridge as it heads towards Piccadilly Station from Oxford Road station offered itself up this morning. I often walk this route between work and Oxford Road.

This morning I had the idea that it represented two different modes of transport that feed the city both of which involve being cooped up in horrible metal boxes, one with loads of smelly sweaty commuters, the other invariably has only one occupant. I hate commuting by either method, by rail is just horrible and frustrating having to share my personal space with other people who smell bad, the other is horrible and frustrating due to the amount of other idiots on the road but at least it is air-conditioned.

Out of Breath and Suffering From Vertigo, 16/02/06

2006-02-16T12:10:00.000Z

Today I walked up the stairs to the top floor of my work which is situated in the basement of the UMIST main Building (Sorry University of Manchester Sackville Street Building), it is part of my general health kick that I am doing this once a day and it is not fun at all.

Right at the top of the building as you look out at the Whitworth Street side there are a few grotty little windows which this picture was taken from. It is an experiment to see what would happen, as a result it almost looks like you are viewing through a rater grotty Television. I also like the feeling of claustrophobia that you get here as you look out between the northern quarter and the town centre. I also like the change in perspective you get from this vantage point, but not the feeling of vertigo I got from up there.

Dramatic Clouds and Barber Shops, 15/02/06

2006-02-15T12:35:00.000Z

Island Monkey had an interesting piece on a new film about Lord Longford that was being shot in the Northen Quarter of Manchester this morning. I therefore decided to take a quick look at lunch time to see what was going on. On the way there I spotted some dramatic clouds over the building site that will be Piccadilly Place, and since this fits in well with my current fetish about all things to do with new buildings and cranes it was too good a photo opportunity to miss.
Alas when I got to Tibb Street in the Northen Quarter there was nothing interesting there. Nothing other than this row of shops. Hussain's Barber Shop has always intrigued me. I have only seen it whilst rolling round this part of town late at night, this was my first visit to it during the day. I was amazed to find that it is not in fact a barber shop but a trendy shoe shop, this makes it better as they have decided to keep this wonderful shop front, and long may they continue to do so.

General incoherent Cycling Rant, 15/02/06

2006-02-15T08:27:00.000Z

I normally stop off at Castlefeild Basin for a quick drink on the way to work as it is about half way there. Last night I was enraged by Richard and Judy's piece on cycling on their not very entertaining evening magazine show.

It is not enough that we cyclists run a daily gauntlet of motorists, pedestrians and Busses, but we also get constantly get attacked in the media as being "Lycra Facists" with no respect for human life. In al my years cycling I have never encountered a "Lycra fascist" and would spit in their eye if I did.

OK I admit to occasionaly running a red light and mounting the pavement but there is a reason for this and that is normally my own self preservation. How would you like to share your journey home with a bunch of double Decker busses, driven by borderline psychopath? Well that is what cyclists have to deal with everyday.

I also admit to shouting abuse it other road users, but only in cases where I have felt my life to be endangered, and I am not really in a fit frame of mind for rational discourse with all that adrenaline pumping through me.

In my time as a cyclist I have been cut up, deliberately forced off the road, hit a pedestrian who stepped out in front of me at 20mph which resulted in a really bad case of bursitis, and had abuse thrown at me by motorists for absolutely no reason. All of these things tend to leave you unhinged and also contribute to a general lack of rational frame of mind.

Myself and most other cyclists do not break the highway code more than most motorists and we have an equal right to be on the road, all that we ask for is a little consideration. Remember that we are the most vunrable road user and should be treated as such.

URBIS, 14/02/06

2006-02-14T10:57:00.000Z

Possibly my Favorite building in Manchester is the URBIS building, I think it is awesome, and a great example of modern architecture. Once inside it shows folk what a museum / Art Gallery really should be. They are also totally wonderful and put up a picture by my totally wonderful girlfriend as their picture of the week on the 6 to 12th February 2006 and she is a far better photographer than me.

Spring Gardens, 13/02/06

2006-02-13T12:52:00.000Z

The site of the Old Post Office on Spring Gardens and glad to see the back of that monstrosity we were. The sense of overcrowding in this part of the city is quite acute, and I think it will only get worse when the new building is complete in the meantime this is a view that we will definitely not see in a few years time.

On the minus side though I miss my camera that died on the weekend and my old 1.3 mega pixel camera just does not cut the mustard.

The Curry Mile in The Rain, 12/02/06

2006-02-13T09:32:00.000Z

A view from Manchester's famous so called Curry Mile which is actually more like half a mile long. Still this section of Wilmslow Road apparently generates almost as much revenue as the centre of Manchester does on a Saturday night. I Highly recommend visiting the Punjab Tandori as it is fantastic, I do not recommend visiting the worlds worst Kwick Save which is also there unless you have special massocistic needs.

Intermission (Donkey in Heaton Park Earlier This Year), 12/02/06

2006-02-12T07:07:00.000Z

My camera has died on me boo hoo, so there will be a brief intermission whilst I go back to my old 1.3MP Fuji camera. I am saving hard for a new Digital Camera which will is highly likley to be a refurbished job from some dodgy shop near Piccadilly. So in the meantime here is a Donkey in Heaton Park looking really pissed off, and to be honest I don't blame it either.

The cross on the Donkey's back is where Jesus sat on his donkey and is a gift from the lord to them. I doubt the validity of this story as it was told to me in th pub, but why let the truth get in the way of a good story, especially one with a donkey in it.

Combustion, 10/02/02

2006-02-11T08:15:00.000Z

I love this scuplture representing combustion, it lives outside the Reynold and Faraday Under Graduate Buildings on the UMIST campus (sorry University of Manchester North Campus). To me it captures the essence of combustion and fits in well with the surroundings. Unlike the stuff I saw at British Art Show 6 at the Manchester Art Gallery which was a pile of steaming horse poo.

Corner of Canal St and Sackville St. 10/02/06

2006-02-10T09:38:00.000Z

I have been cycling past this bridge everyday and have been fascinated by the building work being done and looking at how it is being supported during the renovation work. I was aiming for a bit more of an abstract feel than I achieved here once again my refusal to lie down on the ground to get the right angle for the shot is interfering with my creativity.

The Old Fire Brigade Headquarters, Fairfield Street, 09/02/06

2006-02-09T13:00:00.000Z

What a fantastic building and I only noticed it today after a friend of mine pointed it out to me. This was the old headquarters for the Fire Brigade in Manchester as the badge on the building proudly states..........

I love this type of attention to detail in old buildings because it says that the architects and town planners saw these things as being important and were making a statement about it. Looking at the towers above the station you see sculptures of sentinels and eagles which are there to watch over and protect the city, fantastic stuff and pretty dam inspiring.............

Prisoners of Our Own Paranoid Delusions in Salford, 08/02/06

2006-02-09T09:11:00.000Z

Opportunism is the name of the game. As I was waiting for the security guard to open the gate of this secure car park somewhere in Salford this shot presented itself to me. It got me thinking is all this security really necessary, or is it a product of our own paranoid delusion. It is an integral part of city life and human nature, where so many humans are cramped into a tight space together. I love the countryside as it gives me a sense of freedom, but I love the vibrancy of the city as well, and this paranoia seems to be part and parcel of living alongside a couple of million other people in a highly un-natural environment.

The Steps to Harry's Bar 08/02/06

2006-02-08T10:15:00.000Z

The steps leading down to Harrys Bar on the old UMIST campus now the North University of Manchester Campus. This was an experement which was only partially sucesfull the overall affect I was trying to create was of stepps going off into infinity. I could have started from a lower camera angle but am too self-concious to lie on the ground.

Princess Bridge and The Manchester Ship Canal, 07/02/06

2006-02-07T12:21:00.000Z

Continuing my odyssey of highly amateur photos of Manchester, the above shot was taken from Princess Bridge on the border of Manchester and Salford. Apparently according to my not so trusty A to Z it is over the Manchester Ship Canal. I don't believe it myself, I always assumed that it was the River Irwell. There is cause to celebrate though rather than a dull and drab grey sky more colours are poking through, and today I caught a glimpse of the sun behind the cloud, though this does mean that the inevitable rain is on its way.

Another reason to celebrate is the uncharacteristically empty bike rack at my work, which they are also painting. I hope that my mountain bike appreciates the new colour scheme......

Piccadilly Place and The Dept. Of Employment, 06/02/06

2006-02-06T13:16:00.000Z

This is one of the reasons I started doing this Manchester is undergoing quite startling changes in topography to massive rebuilding of once dormant sites. The above photo shows the building of Piccadilly Place from the side entrance of the UMIST building on Whitworth Street. I am fascinated by the building process and impressed at the optimistic it brings will there be a new sexy building there in a years time? I hope so........

On the other hand walk a few hundered yards up the road and the old Department of Employment Office is there, in all its disgusting glory. The sooner this building is torn down and destroyed the better, I would love to see some greenery here though. There is a plethora of new building going on around Manchester lets have some green spaces too please.......

The Mancunian Way, 05/02/06

2006-02-06T08:39:00.000Z

When I was a lad comics such as 2000AD promised us things like highways in the sky, towerblocks that were miles high, jetpacks and many other things. As you can see from this scene of the Mancunian Way in Manchester that they were totally making this up, this has left me bitter and twisted my childhood dreams have been stolen.

One Motorway in the sky crossing the centre of Manchester past the Metropolitan University and the University formerly Known as UMIST just doesn't cut the mustard. The general heights of the buildings is also disappointing. The only thing this road is good for is bieng bloody dangerous to get onto, traffic jams and not really going anywhere.

Ring Around The Ring Road, 04/02/06

2006-02-04T12:14:00.000Z

Visitors to Manchester would be well advised to avoid the Inner Ring Road in the city, and if you find yourself there then get off it as quickly as possible. It is like a big circular black hole blockading the city, once on it all you can do is hope to achieve escape velocity. The above photo of what was once "The Manchester Coffee House" on the corner of Whitworth Street and South Pump Street was taken before such an adventure on the inner ring road.......
This was my second attempt to get off the ring road at Sudehill which failed miserably, as I wished that I owned a crane hire company as they must be making a small fortune here right now............. It only took two circuits of the ring road to get off this time and I have been living here for 4 years today, I know from bitter experience what happens to newcomers to this city on the inner ring road, and it is not nice so avoid it at all costs.

Looking Towards Manchester From Salford, 04/02/06

2006-02-04T07:21:00.000Z

Citys and people wake up in the smae manner slowly and reluctantley. You can easily spot that dam Hitlon building imposing itself upon the Manchester skyline, spoiling my view of the city from this 17th floor vantage point in Salford.

Dam Buses on Witworth St, Lunchtime 03/02/06

2006-02-03T13:48:00.000Z

Manchester apparentley has the largest student population in Europe, it also is reported to have the buisiest bus route in Europe, along the Oxford Road Corridor. It also has an insane number of bus companies offering a range of fares that are highly varible for the same journey. It is obvious to the casual observer that Manchester City council does not have a sane transport policy at all. This is why I cycle whenever possible avoiding as many bus routes as possible, look at the number of busses in this scene!!!!! not one of them is more than a quarter full, and how much crap are they chucking into the atmosphere? A lot more than me leaving my telly on standby thats for sure.... This is why I feel that cycling is the only sustainable form of urban transport, buy a bike save money on bus fares and get healthy it is a win win situation.