Spring Gardens 20/07/06

There is nothing springy or gardeny about Spring Gardens on this hot and humid day. I sort of approve of Burtonwood's attempt to enforce culture upon us during their insescant office building, but the art they are displaying is crap. I want to see more art on the streets and out of the galleries so that folk can see it easily, lets force culture down the throats of the masses. I also beleive that our goverement should stop bombing people and spend the money on art for the masses, with that in mind todays recomended Bush bashing peice of industrialesque metal is Ministry's Rio Grande Blood.

Abstract Art & My Poofy Bag

It was bloody hot the other day and it is fucking bastard hot today too. Only one thing one can do on such days and that is to drink and take abstract art photo's of my poofy bag. It is not a man bag as that is something that men who are not confident with their own sexuality would call it. This heat is definitley affecting my mind it must be all the vitamin D, that and my first visit to a parent-craft class last night.

My poofy bag is also the perfect thing to carry loads of water and beer around the place with me, as well as handy things like sunblock. Time for more lunchtime drinking I think.

Lunchtime Drinking is The Future, 18/07/06

Lunchtime drinking is indeed the way forward, though from our view of the attic from the Salisbury we could see that something was wrong. The Salisbury also smelt funny, so it was off to the Scholar for rum and coke a far more sensible state of affairs.

During my rather splended lunch I compsed a letter to Gerald Kaufman demanding that he take active steps to remove Tony Blair from power, every little bit helps.

Summer in Manchester, 17/07/06

Nothing says more about summer that KEBABS whilst listening to Hank Williams III's latest opus Straight to Hell [Us Import] you know your life will not be complete without both of them. Oh and it is supposed to be hitting 31 degrees Centigrade here today, happy happy Joy Joy, me I'm Drinkin' Cussin' and being proud of my outlaw style. As well as suffering from a vitamin D overload.

The Floating Car of Rusholme, 16/07/07

I don't half take photos of a pile of old shite don't I. this floating car confused the hell out of us for a while, but then we are innocent barmen, and while we are on that subject start tipping you bastards and more than 20p a time please, I have a child to support, and a new guitar to buy. Anyway we then spotted the forklift that was supporting it and the bald bloke who was working under it, there was also a bloke in the car pressing the brake pedals (we spotted this when the brake lights kept flashing). It is good to see that Manchester Mechanics are so safety concious. If anyone can come up with a suitable caption as to what the bloke in the stupid hat is saying to the blonde on the bike please feel free to enlighten me, better still if you know then then make up some sucrrilous rumour about them, it is the summer and all this heat is affecting my mind.

A Trip Into Yorkshire 15/07/06

Above is some B road heading into Holmefirth (where a god awful TV program is made about old people, who die every now and then is made, Yorkshire does not deserve TV). This was at the summit of the road on which I annoyed some muppet in a 4 x4 who could nopt fathom out the idea that my 1.1 litre fiat cannot get out of 2nd gear when it is going up anything more than a 10% incline. 4x4's should be destroyed anyway. Going down is a whole barrell of fun though.

This is possibly the most interesting thing in Holmefirth, other than wondering which member of the cast of an aforementioned god awful TV program is going to die next. Much mor interesting is playing a game of which member of The Who is going to die next my bets are on Roger Daltery in a bizzare trout farm accident, playing this game with the Beatles is no fun as you know that they are dying in reverse order of tallent.

And here is proof of how tightfisted Yorkshiemen are too bloody mean to even build a half decent dry stone dyke.

1 minute and 15 Seconds on Oldham Street

Above is my good mate Rob from Coventry, at his first ever time on stage he lasted 1 minute and 15 seconds and managed to tell two jokes before getting booed off stage by a few folk with a non-twisted sense of humor. His short time on stage was stunning and very reminiscant of Jerry Shadowitz. I tell you open mike nights at Comedy Clubs are strange things indeed, but fun if you like psycho analysing saddos whilst getting plastered.
The night ended up with us checking behind us along Oldham Street to make sure that we were not going to get lynched.

OH AND £1-30 FOR A POXY WEE BOTTLE OF CASTLEMAINE XXX IS NOT CHEAP IT IS A FUCKING RIP OFF.

Rusholme in The Rain 02/07/06

First thunderstorm of the summer and what a beauty it was passing right over us. One of the great things about living here in Manchester is that you are guaranteed a good few thunderstorms every year due to its location and they are fantastic, even the rain is great after a couple of days of hot and sunny weather nothing gladdens a Manc's (event though I am a Scot, I consider myself a Manc) heart more than a good drenching.

The Rusholme Sky At Night 1/7/06

England are out of the World Cup so we can all relax and enjoy some great football now, and more importantly the weather which is disgustingly hot.