Sunrise Over Manchester 12/10/06

Even more impressive as I was half asleep when I took it, now all that needs to happen is for Manchester Housing to get their fingers out of their collective bums and get me a new house, as the only good thing about my current home is this view.

That bloody Hilton Building Again 11/9/06

What I failed to capture was the highly dangerous angle that the gantry was at when I spotted it and when you are claning windows 20 floors of the ground that has to be of some concern. I applaud these mens heroic efforts to keep this monstrosity clean, the achitect responsible for thsi building I want to poke in the eyes with a sharp stick.

To quote what a mate of mines dad says to any architect other than himself (including a 1st year archetecture student) after a godd few beers " you are a fucking arsehole, I build peoples dreams, you build fucking nightmares"

Whitworth Street Carpark, 30/08/06

Hopefully the 3 forklifts here are a sign that this carbuncle is going to be transformed into something that involves ducks, I doubt it though.

Roseburn, Edinburgh, 26/08/06

Auld Reekie is a beautiful, pictureesque, metropolitian and highly cultured city and I miss it, but for some unknown sick and twisted reason the thing I miss most about my home is McEwans Lager.

WTF!!!!!!!

Whatever this photo is off confuses the hell out of me, It was supposed to be of a levitating pint of lager which we had skillfully levitated with the power of our not insubstantial minds. It even looked like a levitating pint, but it mystically transformed into something else. I am pleased with the result.

Unlike the downgrading of Pluto which is no longer a planet I demand JUSTICE, I am writing to my MP regarding this scandal with the hope that he puts it right along with other things such as the gross incompitence of Manchester Housing, lets see which one gets sorted first.

Diversions On Oxford Rd, 10/08/06

Nuff Said

Spring Gardens 20/07/06

There is nothing springy or gardeny about Spring Gardens on this hot and humid day. I sort of approve of Burtonwood's attempt to enforce culture upon us during their insescant office building, but the art they are displaying is crap. I want to see more art on the streets and out of the galleries so that folk can see it easily, lets force culture down the throats of the masses. I also beleive that our goverement should stop bombing people and spend the money on art for the masses, with that in mind todays recomended Bush bashing peice of industrialesque metal is Ministry's Rio Grande Blood.

Abstract Art & My Poofy Bag

It was bloody hot the other day and it is fucking bastard hot today too. Only one thing one can do on such days and that is to drink and take abstract art photo's of my poofy bag. It is not a man bag as that is something that men who are not confident with their own sexuality would call it. This heat is definitley affecting my mind it must be all the vitamin D, that and my first visit to a parent-craft class last night.

My poofy bag is also the perfect thing to carry loads of water and beer around the place with me, as well as handy things like sunblock. Time for more lunchtime drinking I think.

Lunchtime Drinking is The Future, 18/07/06

Lunchtime drinking is indeed the way forward, though from our view of the attic from the Salisbury we could see that something was wrong. The Salisbury also smelt funny, so it was off to the Scholar for rum and coke a far more sensible state of affairs.

During my rather splended lunch I compsed a letter to Gerald Kaufman demanding that he take active steps to remove Tony Blair from power, every little bit helps.

Summer in Manchester, 17/07/06

Nothing says more about summer that KEBABS whilst listening to Hank Williams III's latest opus Straight to Hell [Us Import] you know your life will not be complete without both of them. Oh and it is supposed to be hitting 31 degrees Centigrade here today, happy happy Joy Joy, me I'm Drinkin' Cussin' and being proud of my outlaw style. As well as suffering from a vitamin D overload.

The Floating Car of Rusholme, 16/07/07

I don't half take photos of a pile of old shite don't I. this floating car confused the hell out of us for a while, but then we are innocent barmen, and while we are on that subject start tipping you bastards and more than 20p a time please, I have a child to support, and a new guitar to buy. Anyway we then spotted the forklift that was supporting it and the bald bloke who was working under it, there was also a bloke in the car pressing the brake pedals (we spotted this when the brake lights kept flashing). It is good to see that Manchester Mechanics are so safety concious. If anyone can come up with a suitable caption as to what the bloke in the stupid hat is saying to the blonde on the bike please feel free to enlighten me, better still if you know then then make up some sucrrilous rumour about them, it is the summer and all this heat is affecting my mind.

A Trip Into Yorkshire 15/07/06

Above is some B road heading into Holmefirth (where a god awful TV program is made about old people, who die every now and then is made, Yorkshire does not deserve TV). This was at the summit of the road on which I annoyed some muppet in a 4 x4 who could nopt fathom out the idea that my 1.1 litre fiat cannot get out of 2nd gear when it is going up anything more than a 10% incline. 4x4's should be destroyed anyway. Going down is a whole barrell of fun though.

This is possibly the most interesting thing in Holmefirth, other than wondering which member of the cast of an aforementioned god awful TV program is going to die next. Much mor interesting is playing a game of which member of The Who is going to die next my bets are on Roger Daltery in a bizzare trout farm accident, playing this game with the Beatles is no fun as you know that they are dying in reverse order of tallent.

And here is proof of how tightfisted Yorkshiemen are too bloody mean to even build a half decent dry stone dyke.

1 minute and 15 Seconds on Oldham Street

Above is my good mate Rob from Coventry, at his first ever time on stage he lasted 1 minute and 15 seconds and managed to tell two jokes before getting booed off stage by a few folk with a non-twisted sense of humor. His short time on stage was stunning and very reminiscant of Jerry Shadowitz. I tell you open mike nights at Comedy Clubs are strange things indeed, but fun if you like psycho analysing saddos whilst getting plastered.
The night ended up with us checking behind us along Oldham Street to make sure that we were not going to get lynched.

OH AND £1-30 FOR A POXY WEE BOTTLE OF CASTLEMAINE XXX IS NOT CHEAP IT IS A FUCKING RIP OFF.

Rusholme in The Rain 02/07/06

First thunderstorm of the summer and what a beauty it was passing right over us. One of the great things about living here in Manchester is that you are guaranteed a good few thunderstorms every year due to its location and they are fantastic, even the rain is great after a couple of days of hot and sunny weather nothing gladdens a Manc's (event though I am a Scot, I consider myself a Manc) heart more than a good drenching.

The Rusholme Sky At Night 1/7/06

England are out of the World Cup so we can all relax and enjoy some great football now, and more importantly the weather which is disgustingly hot.

New Bridge at Piccadilly Place 26/07/06

The folks at Piccadilly place have gotten this bridge up rather rapidly, and they want the public to send in suggestions for its name. I personally think that this is a good idea and we should buck the trend of calling bridges inspiring but unorigonal names to using original yet uninspiring names. I am bored with millennium bridges and Brunell bridges and god forbid if anyone decides to call it the Sir Alex Ferguson Bridge. My suggestion for it's name is simple lets call it Pepe for two reasons:-

1. I do not know of any bridges named Pepe anywhere in the world.
2. It will be named after an imaginary dog that we kept in the kitchen of a Mexican restaurant I once worked in.

We need more bridges named after imaginary dogs...........................

today's recommended piece of Sloveninan Art Terrosim to improve your record collection is Liabach - Let It Be

The Green Man at Knutsford, 14/4/06

The green man sucptled from a bit of tree and some copper outside the heratige centre in Knutsford. The grren man is an important figure in our pagan history and the folk in Knutsford are very nice albeit a little strange.

Dumbfounded, 15/03/06

This notice outside an office has left me speechless. The non-smoking lobby in this country has won and yet they are still moaning. Banning smoking in pubs will result in the closure of up to 10% of pubs in the UK according to licensed industry figures, yeah I know it was going to happen but how about phasing in such a dramatic change. No that is not the way our so called labor government operates, a friend of mine said the other days that politicians are like nappies and need changed regulary. A sentiment that I wholeheartedly agree with. I am an ex-smoker and suffer from quite severe asthma, yet I do not get distressed by watching people smoke, and I have not turned into a humorless swine.

Street Art Under The Mancunian Way, 13/03/06

Justice and Constitutional Affairs

This rather stunning building on the Salford / Manchester border will have something to do with Justice and Constitutional affairs, kinda ironic that something with such an Orwellian title is opposite the Peoples History museum (Which is a fantastic place detailing the struggle of the working man against the man).

I DO NOT WANT A FUCKING IPOD

Apple iPod shuffle - 512MB

Kwick Save, Rusholme, 09/03/06

Kwick Save is being closed, so no more chap baked beans for me and many others, and I will miss this branch in Rusholme. It is quite frankly awful, but awful with a certain charm about it. Apparentley acording to local gossip this will be replaced by a clothes shop, curry house, pub, yuppie flats, or as I have been claiming a duck pond. Infact I am going to petition Manchester City Council for a duck pond....

More Photos of My Favorite Ducks

Don't worry this blog is not becoming a daily-duck-blog as I don't have the time to do it, not because it may be a bad idea.

The ducks were being terribly photogenic this morning so I had to take shots of them!!!!!

Some suit even chortled at me for shooting them, but not in a bad way,as I suspect that he too has a liking for these three young ducks, and who can blame him.

Ducks!!!!!!!!!

I have stated many times before to anyone who would listen that you can't have too many pictures of ducks. Especially these three that live along Deansgate locks, who I have adopted. Even for ducks they seem remarkably stupid, and unworried about bird flu. Apart from the bird flu, living outside, and eating crap I am really envious of them, ducks have a much better life than humans.

Piccadilly Gardens 08/09/06

10 years ago Piccadilly Gardens was old fashioned but still a nice place to visit, today it is a hideous monstrosity, as is highlighted by this sculpture of a tree. What is wrong with a real fucking tree I ask you? It would have been nicer and cheaper than this hideous carbuncle. I have nothing against modern sculpture being used to brighten up our cities, the stuff of the quayside in Newcastle Upon Tyne is a good example of what can be done, but this is just shite. Whoever commissioned and paid for this needs shooting as does the artist who conceived it....

Deansgate Locks / Castle Field Basin, 06/02/06

Monday the 6th of Febuary 2006 was the single most emotionally traumatic day of my life so far, thankfully it all worked out ok in the end. Little did I know what the day would bring as I was taking this photograph which I love, because it sort of represents the clam before a storm. I also now owe the big fella in the sky a massive favour, which is a pretty uncomfortable place for an agnostic to be in, but thanks big man.

A HUGE thank you

Thank you to the two ladies who let me jump ahead of them at the Piccadilly taxi rank this morning at 10 am, I am indebted to both of you. If you read this then thank you and everything is ok, your kindness and generosity was fantastic.

THANK YOU!!!!!!!!

Archimedes Indulging In Light Bondage, 03/03/06

This statue of Archimedes jumping out of the bath is subject to regular abuse, most of it rather dull and boring. However whoever thought of blindfolding and gagging him is a genus. Below is more evidence that it is not yet spring.....

Falkner Street and Spring Gardens, 03/03/06

A building on Falkner Street that is in the midsts of demolition and good riddance to it. I would be happy if every building on that street was torn down and replaced with a park some donkeys and a duck pond. Below my crane fetish is taking a worrysome turn but it does not harm anyone so I am willing to let it continue.

In the Court of the Crimson King by King Crimson is todays recomended legandary prog rock masterpeice.

Rusholme in The Snedge, 01/03/06

Only in the UK would you have a conservative MP arguing about the official start of spring, when we all know that the Met Office is completely useless, and that there is no such thing as spring here. You just get a slightly warmer and slightly less wet version of winter. I am surprised that he isn't ranting about how it is all political correctness gone mad though as conservatives have a habit of doing these days.

New Market, 01/03/06

Turning the corner from Cross Street up New Market I had an boompf moment when I was struck by this view. The contrast of the three buildings from different eras is quite startling especially for one looking at this city with new found eyes. Though I do think it could be improved with a few well positioned ducks or a donkey.

The Ducks of Albion Mill Lock on Deansgate Locks, 28/02/06

I have grown quite found of this group of three young ducks, as I pass them twice a day on the way to and from work. They sort of make the whole journey more palatable especially when I have don a shift ion the pub the night before. I hope that they don't get duck flu but and confident that our government is right in that Bird Flu coming to the UK is not inevitable. After all they have a fantastic record with being right about so many other things like Foot and Mouth, Iraq's WMD's and Dr David Kelly's "suicide", I am personally brimming with confidence.

I am personally of the opinion that you can never have too many photo's of Ducks or Donkeys for that matter, and anyone who has the pleasure to be served by me in my pub will be told everything I know about how great Ducks and Donkeys are, which is a disturbing amount.

Chorlton Street, 28/02/06

A fantastic instalation on this rather drab and boring building, there should be more stuff like this everywhere. It could well have cost a packet but I don't care, if we are going to have boring buildings in the town then lets make them a little bit interesting.

Portland Tower In The CIS Building, 28/02/06

The fantastic reflection of Portland Tower in one of the many CIS buildings in central Manchester. Both of these buildings are infact very bloody ugly, but the ability to turn them into objects of art sort of makes up for their existence but not by much.

today's recommended piece of obscure Krautrock is Can's - Future Days [Remastered] which is indeed a masterpiece.